


changkyu | how am i supposed to live without you

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Series: 잠들고 싶어 (In My Dream) | Changmin x Kyuhyun [6]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, SHINee, Super Junior
Genre: Author: Ai, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5235851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years is a long fucking time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	changkyu | how am i supposed to live without you

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You" from the Super Show 5 DVD.

Changmin can't decide who’s more drunk: Kyuhyun or Minho. Usually it only takes a few shots of soju to put Minho under, while Kyuhyun requires a few bottles at least. Changmin suspects Kyuhyun had pregamed their final get-together, a blatant violation of their drinking treaty. Changmin can't really blame him: if he didn't have to report to the training base early the next day, he would've gotten shitfaced too. Minho is as clingy drunk as he is sober, but Kyuhyun is surprisingly affectionate when intoxicated. Currently, he has his arm around Minho's shoulders while Minho grasps him around the waist. Both are singing incredibly loudly and off key.   
****

"I'm surprised you two can make a living as singers," Changmin yells at them over the noise.

"I'mmm not singer!" Minho replies, slurring a bit. "I'm a raPPer. Dibidibidis, my name is--"

"Minho!" Kyuhyun joins in. They both find that incredibly funny and break into the giggles. Changmin laughs along with them, shaking his head at their nonsense. There are open bottles all around the now nearly empty dorm that tempt Changmin, but he resists. No sense showing up to his first day of military training with a hangover. That’s maybe the only thing that could make tomorrow worse.

Kyuhyun and Minho both take another shot and the singing only grows worse. Kyuhyun starts belting out "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?" in incomprehensible English while Minho just resorts to some sort of wail. Kyuhyun extracts himself from Minho's grasp and decides to serenade Changmin instead, flailing his arms in exaggerated gestures. Minho somehow ends up on the floor, long limbs splayed out across the carpet. 

Kyuhyun then decides to move onto "Don't Leave Me" and Changmin wonders when he’s going to run out of steam.

Finally, he moves into "Before U Go" and that's when Changmin decides that another bottle of soju isn't going to screw him over that much. He and Kyuhyun make the executive decision to cut Minho off from soju, seeing how he is already half asleep and drooling all over the floor. This time, as Kyuhyun starts on the second verse, Changmin joins him. Kyuhyun hooks an arm around Changmin's shoulders and holds his soju bottle as a microphone.

It turns into a sort of screamo version with Minho wailing what should’ve been Changmin’s high notes in the background. 

They get to the bridge and while Changmin continues to belt out the lyrics, Kyuhyun grows quiet.

_Out of habit, I might call you without knowing. Hello hello hello hello. Missing you like crazy, if I’m at your door, be cold..._

Changmin stops singing and looks at his best friend. “Are... are you okay?”

But instead of replying properly, Kyuhyun just turns to him with tears in his eyes and shakes his head. “I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered hoarsely. “It’s... it’s not going to be the same without you. I don’t want to be here without you.”

Changmin tried to laugh it off and ignore the depression gnawing at the back of his mind. “You sound like my girlfriend. It’ll be fine, Kyu, I promise.”

“You don’t have a girlfriend,” Kyuhyun replies. The tears are starting to flow more freely now, and his cheeks are red from all of the alcohol. “Chwang, who am I going to go on vacations with?”

“Your girlfriend?” Changmin tries half-heartedly. 

Kyuhyun suddenly throws his arms around Changmin and pulls him into his arms. “Don’t forget me,” he whispers fiercely.

“I’m not going to forget you,” Changmin replies, but Kyuhyun’s tears are contagious. He can feel the lump growing in his throat. “How could I forget you? You’re my best friend.”

“We won’t be together for three years,” Kyuhyun replies. “Three  _years_.”

“Stop,” Changmin whispers. 

“Do you know how long three years is? In three years, we’ll both be well into our thirties and--”

“Stop,” Changmin says, louder this time. 

“And--”

“Stop.” He tries to make his voice sound firm, but even he, the great unbreakable Choikang Changmin, can’t keep his voice from wavering. Three years  _is_  a long time. It’s a  _long fucking time._  And there’s nothing he can say to change that. “It sucks. It fucking sucks.”

Kyuhyun holds Changmin and cries for a very, very long time.

*

Kyuhyun’s parents come home the next morning to find Minho fast asleep and desperately clinging to one of the couch pillows. He’s surrounded by empty soju bottles and toppled shot glasses, and they know the other two must be around somewhere.

Mama Cho first peeks into Ahra’s old room to find it empty, the bed undisturbed. She reports back to Papa Cho who chuckles. “There was a bed for you,” he says to Minho’s prone figure.

Kyuhyun’s mother quietly walks over to the other closed door and pushes it open just wide enough to peer in. Sure enough,Changmin and Kyuhyun are both fast asleep in Kyuhyun’s bed like always. But this time, they’re nestled against each other under the covers, Changmin tucked into Kyuhyun’s arms. 

She smiles to herself and closes the door softly. It’s still early; they won’t have to leave yet for another couple of hours. 

Mama Cho turns to see her husband gently draping a blanket over Minho. “Maybe now he’ll get to sleep in a real bed,” he says quietly with a smile.

*

Kyuhyun’s eyes are red and puffy when he leaves later that morning, so he digs out a pair of sunglasses before heading to the enlistment site. Changmin isn’t nearly as hungover as Kyuhyun is, which is probably a good thing. Mama Cho gives Changmin a long hug before he heads out. 

“Stay healthy,” she says. She hands him a wrapped package. “Just a few things you might need.”

“Thanks,” he replies. “Really.”

Kyuhyun’s dad hugs him goodbye too. Minho is a blubbering mess when the manager comes to collect him and would’ve dragged snot all over Changmin’s sleeve if Mama Cho hadn’t helpfully supplied a tissue.

It’s a quarter to noon, and the doorbell finally rings. Kyuhyun’s manager comes to collect them both, and Kyuhyun has never wanted time to stop so badly.

But it doesn’t stop. In fact, it seems to speed up from the minute they get into the car to the minute Kyuhyun is hugging Changmin again, this time for the last time.

“Be healthy,” Kyuhyun says into Changmin’s hair.

“I will,” Changmin replies to the hood of Kyuhyun’s jacket.

Kyuhyun holds him tight. “Don’t forget me or I’ll send Siwon to kick your nonexistent ass.”

Changmin simply replies, “If I find out you replaced me, I’ll come arrest you as a member of the Republic of Korea police force.”

Kyuhyun lets go and smacks his arm.

“Ya! You’re assaulting a police officer!”

“And you’re threatening the top singer in all of Korea,” Kyuhyun shoots back. He grins, but Changmin can see his eyes behind the sunglasses.

They don’t say goodbye. They never have and never will. Kyuhyun waves until Changmin disappears into the crowd of new recruits with Siwon. Leeteuk puts his arm around Kyuhyun’s shoulder and gently guides him back to the van. 

On the drive back home, Kyuhyun slips in his earbuds and closes his eyes. He doesn’t understand the Japanese, but he’d heard the song being sung so many times before. Leeteuk looks over right as Kyuhyun jams his sunglasses back onto his face to hide his tears.

Three years is a fucking long time, and he doesn’t want to deal with the gaping hole in his chest quite yet. It’s not until he returns to the now-empty dorm that he falls onto his bed and sobs into the pillows at the thought of three years without food tours, without radio support messages, without preparing for comebacks, without planning for collaborations, without getting super drunk, without pranking Minho, without meeting up in Japan, without his best friend...

The salty tears burn Kyuhyun’s eyes. He’s ready for this all to be over. 

Just three more years. Three long fucking years.


End file.
